You may have received some tips about New Year’s resolutions in your early January mailbox from somewhere or other. Often our good intentions fade through the month. Here are a few tips from us to help you stay engaged:
- Better to think of (and feel) New Year’s resolve than resolution. Resolve is an on-going state of being determined and focus. Resolution, as a nominalisation, implicitly implies something done and dusted – a result of thinking – it is not a mood or emotion that moves us.
- When setting goals or outcomes choose ‘wants’ rather than ‘shoulds’. We often choose what will be ‘good for us’, something ‘we should do’. If your goal is a ‘should’ turn it into a ‘want’, finding the links to a bigger payoff that you want. (NLP offers some great ways to do this.)
- Neuroscience research shows us that the use of will to follow through on goals (especially those which are ‘shoulds’ and not ‘wants’) makes a heavy demand on our energy resources. Use your will wisely and with timeliness.
- Set small outcomes or short steps on the way to a bigger outcome. One press-up is a start; one less piece of cake is a start. We feel good when we achieve a target.
- Change takes place via on-going moment by moment attention, via small steps
- Learn to love the plateau. After a while in any change the initial progress stalls, this is a natural part of the learning process, keep faith and carry on.
- Let your goal set your direction and intention but do not become attached to it, treat it lightly.
- Fixing a goal may limit your possibilities.
- It doesn’t serve you to beat yourself up if you don’t make the progress you hoped for, find some compassion for your process.
- Pay attention and stay present to your process. There is always something to learn, this is especially important when you find yourself on the plateau and your mind drifts. Curiosity and enquiry help keep you engaging.
- If you are bored and your curiosity cannot find anything interesting take a break and do something different.
- Choose some fun things in your resolving – see friends more often, get a massage once a month…because you’re worth it. These will be easier to act upon and will help build your energy to follow through on your goals.
- Think of developing a quality you would like to have more of in your life as well as achieving external goals. Such a quality might be balance, being determined, focus, patience, compassion. You choose. This is most important. Our inner work provides the foundation for our outer work success.
- How can you be a little more of who you were born to be at the end of this year than at the beginning?
Watch for how you may be sabotaging yourself along the way. Enlisting the help of a friend or joining a group can help you keep focussed or if you would like some support to assist you to achieve the changes you want and make the difference you want to make in 2016 please contact us, info@thebeyondpartnership.co.uk
